posts tagged "life"

Thoughts…

So, the Match advert is currently throwing around that “1 in 5 relationships start on the Internet”.

That’s quite a statistic.

With the Internet being a part of our daily lives surely such a statistic is inevitable? But if society is shifting, and more relationships are starting online then does this change ones view on Internet dating? Does it make it more socially acceptable?

I personally would say no. Maybe this is because of my personal second hand experience of it (my Mum went on two Match based dates and they were horrendous!), and maybe that has left me with a predujise towards it. Or maybe it’s because my housemate uses dating websites just to sleep with girls. And people wonder why I turn my nose up to “oh you should try Internet dating” statements. Yes, I understand that people meet their soul mates via such dating websites. Just yesterday I was shown photos from a ‘Match’ wedding. But for me personally (a seasoned singleton!) it’s never been an option.

All of that said, when you say to others that “you’ve met a guy online” they automatically presume its via Match, or one of its many competitors. When you inform them otherwise they immediately become concerned. And yes, I’m aware of how some lie about their identity on the Internet, and I’m aware of the dangers. But seriously. People lie about their identity on dating websites…they just pay to do it. Does paying for something immediately give it integrity and truth? No. Yet many think it does.Also, how much do you really learn about someone from an online dating profile? A generic page set up, with generic details and generic questions. It hardly gets across the individuals interests and passions.

So answer me this (and this may be one for you more…psychologically minded individuals!) why do I have such issues with telling the world that I’ve met a guy through Tumblr/Twitter? He’s someone that I really care about. Who I’ve shared my life with for three months. I feel I know him so well, yet we’ve never met. My day wouldn’t be complete without his texts, and yet I’ve only shared his existence with a handful of individuals in ‘the real world’. 

Part of my resistance is because of my feedback from those I’ve told so far. The general consensus being “how do you know he is who he says he is?” (I doubt they’d ask this of we’d met on some dating website), “when are you going to meet?” (it’s been three months, we live several miles from one another and it’s a little complicated…let’s not rush things) and “have you spoken to him on the phone?/have you Skyped?”…the answer is no. But is this such a big deal?

I guess there’s also a little bit of me that feels silly. Silly for getting so attached to a stranger. But everyone’s a stranger until you get to know them, right? It just so happens that I’ve got to know him via text, Twitter and Tumblr, rather than traditional communication methods.

I’m not really sure of the purpose of this post. I guess I’m just venting things that have been swimming around in my brain for the last few weeks; a problem shared is a problem halved and all that jazz.

Having that indescribable urge to say ‘fuck it’. To stop caring about what others may think, or the possible danger involved. Just booking a hotel, jumping on a train and meeting.

Three days off work. Already unable to deal with my unoccupied mind. Got another seven days to go. Fuck my life. My sanity will be gone come next Monday. I’m a mess.

How exactly do you break it to your parents that you’ve totally fallen for someone you’ve never met before, and that you met via the internet? They just aren’t going to get it…but all the same, I want them to know, but not to judge or be confused.

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